You’re a miracle: Why you’re damn lucky to even exist

A Purple Rabbit’s Foot on God’s Keychain: Why You’re Lucky to Even Exist: ONE in QUADRILLIONS

You be you, you freaking David Bowie Alligator Space Invader. You’re a goddamned lucky thing. Yes, it’s a miracle you even exist.

Let’s break the math down to the atomic decimal point of your quantum existence.

At our current petri dish conception rate, there are over 8.2 billion people on Earth, a number that continues to copulate like billionaires’ bank accounts on Nasdaq while George Michael tells no lies with those sexy eyes.

But there’s only one you. Fact is, the odds of all the cosmic explosions, atomic alignment, fate jurisprudence it took to get that exact one of you are so rare it’s practically impossible.

You’re a purple rabbit’s foot on God’s keychain.  Angels should rub your belly for luck as they roll dice in Vegas.

Let’s start with your parents even meeting – much less shacking up in the first place – about 1 in 20,000.

And then there’s the probability of your mom’s egg and your dad’s sperm forming the exact DNA it takes to make you you, and not say, Gary Colemen or Gary Oldman or Gary Gygax or anyone else in the 2 billion to 2 trillion galaxies in the known Universe – somewhere around 1 in 400,000,000,000,000,000.

Drink enough Manhattans with Carl Sagan, and he might point out the odds rambling down the numberline of Cosmic Time, all the way say to the days of single celled organisms, coming to life and dancing like magic and commingling the juices it took to create all your ancestors, each of them lining up to create you, and the odds break down to 1 in 10 to the 45,000th. A 10 with 45,000 zeroes after it. And the exact right sperm had to meet the exact right egg like stars in alignment, putting those odds at 1 in 10^2,685,000.

Slept through scientific notation in 8th grade math class? Let’s break it down. That second number is a 10 followed by almost 2.7 million zeros.

For scale, the number of atoms in the entire universe is only 10^80.

You’re astonishingly freakingly blessed minute space dust spinning the galaxy with amazing possibilities.

Perhaps Steve Jobs did the math when he hummed his final words: “Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.”

Celebrate Lucky Duck Math: Smoke Some Herbs

Excuse our Latin, but what’s one to do with this mind-bogglingly lucky fuck duck of Cosmic Math?
Appreciate the miracle that you are. Celebrate.

You’re not just one in a million. You’re one in 10 to the 2,685,000th, Cosmic Soul Collider of Space Dust Divider.

Live your dreams. Thrive to be alive. You shouldn’t be here. You shouldn’t be anywhere. You’re a whacked out day dream in Paulie Shore’s surfed-out imagination. A puff of smoke. An enigma in Nikes slurping Starbucks with Rasta braids and an herbal spliff tucked behind your ear.

So celebrate your life with herbs. Smoke down with friends. Howl at the moon. Moon a sunset like the best minds of your generation destroyed by madness. Streak Sunday Bible Study at high noon in a United Methodist parking lot so God can see what you’re made of. You’ve already won the Cosmic lottery. Cash in that ticket and live life with the dial cranked to 11 in a Spinal Tap smile.

Wake Up to Find Out

Wake up to find out you’re not just the eyes of the world – you’re the soul of God. You are living, breathing Cosmic consciousness, a reflection of the Universe captured in the raindrop of your life, rolling down the windowpane in this split-second moment of Time.Don’t be ordinary. Boredom is one of the deadliest sins. Be one with the Universe, chill with the herbs, celebrate the Earth – you’re a gift of the soil and a miracle of Cosmic Soul entity.It’s easy to forget. We think we’re bland toe cheese in this cosmic dish of life. But you’re actually extraordinary. We’re Cosmic. That’s why we’re bound to the energy of the Panther, the Eagle, the Antelope, because nature surges through our veins of this magnificent planetary kingdom.Herbs connect us to that destiny. They are our birthright, our gift from the Universe,our reminder of the synchronicity of the Timeless Cosmos embedded in a plant with the distilled chlorophyll of the Sun.

Practice Herbal Ceremonies

One way to recognize this cosmic natural connection of concentration is through ceremony. Become one with the herbs.

Whether alone or with friends, partake of the herbs with intentional sacred intensity. Savor the plants. Open a tin of Bear Blend and sniff the fluffy freshness. Recognize the gifts of the Universe.

Roll a spliff. Throw in some cannabis or tobacco if that’s your thing. Be intentional with its design. This is your moment – your time to forget the rushed pace of Capitalism and let yourself just be. Lick the paper and seal the deal like that spliff is a cosmic spaceship ready to rocket stars sublime.

Light up the herbs. Puff gently. Sip, don’t chug. These herbs are like a tea, not a beer bong. Savor the green taste of nature and become one with the plants.

Present the smoke as a gift to the sky. The smoke is your thoughts letting go, disappearing in the sacred bliss of meditation, where the wind can carry on the journey.

Let yourself be. It’s a miracle you’re here, so Be Here Now. Life can wait. We are one abundant God with the sacred universe.

Smoke down righteously. Celebrate life through ritual. Be a rock star and set your air guitar on fire.