Kick Your Ashtray’s Ass: How to Quit Smoking with Herbs Nonviolently

by Jan 1, 2024Smoke Signals0 comments

Kick Your Ashtray’s Ass: How to Quit Smoking with Herbs Nonviolently

by Jan 1, 2024Smoke Signals0 comments

Happy New Year! Mazel tov. Hell yeah, funk bunnies. Let’s celebrate new beginnings with a few Chuck Norris truths:

  • In the Beginning, there was nothing. Then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a damn job.
  • Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick-related deaths have increased a whopping 13,000 percent.
  • Chuck Norris once roundhouse-kicked Bruce Lee so hard his foot broke the speed of light.

Why so many Chuck Norris roundhouse jokes in January? Because this New Year, you’re going to kick your ashtray’s ass.

You’re going to quit smoking, seriously. We swear. And despite all these Chuck Norris references, you’re going to quit smoking nonviolently because you’re going to quit smoking with herbs.

Original Smoke Blend

Because unlike Chuck Norris, you won’t want to kill anybody, not even a little bit, almost. Instead, you’ll ick your ashtray’s ass and give your angst over to the herbs. Breathe in. Breathe out. And smoke herbs. They’re better for you than tobacco cigarettes and can help you quit smoking the Joe Camel cancer nunchucks like a God damned champ. 

Cut Your Tobacco with Herbs 

Here’s how you’re going to quit smoking cigarettes with herbs. Start by rolling your own. Get yourself a sack of American Spirit and some papers. Roll a few cowboy cigarettes, but mix in an herbal blend like Bear Blend. Our Original Blend is a good place to start, or perhaps the Mintz if you like that mentholated minty flavor, or maybe the Shaman if you’re into hemp CBD. Start light, say a 80/20 tobacco/herbal smoke. You’ll barely notice the difference – in fact you might just appreciate the herbal flavor. Don’t worry, you’ll still get your nic-fix and hardly want to kill anyone. 

Not so bad, right? Now start mixing in more herbs with your tobacco, perhaps 60/40 tobacco/herbal smoke. As time goes on and your body, bloodstream, and flavor palate get used to the herbs, gradually increase the herbal content to 40/60, 20/80, etc. Before you know it, you’ll be smoking pure herbs, no nic fit, relaxed, satisfied, and riding an herbal dream into non-violent epiphany.

And unlike Chuck Norris, you won’t want to kill a living soul. We swear.

The Magic of Lobelia

Why are herbs such a powerful supplement when it comes to quitting smoking cigarettes? The secret magic is Lobelia, also known as Indian Tobacco. Present in every Bear Blend herbal smoke except Moon, Lobelia is believed to mimic the effects of nicotine in our brains – essentially serving as a substitute to ease nicotine cravings through a more beneficial and medicinal herb.  Lobelia can help lower your nicotine craving and make it easier to quit smoking cigarettes with herbal smoking blends.

Lobelia, a medicinal herb, held significant value among various Native American tribes, serving as both a trade commodity and a form of currency. Tribes such as the Penobscot, Cherokee, Iroquois, Shoshone, and Crow utilized it for diverse health conditions.

 The Cherokee prepared a paste from Lobelia roots to alleviate body pains. The Iroquois applied it for treating venereal diseases, ulcers, and leg wounds. Many tribes also used Lobelia to stimulate sweating. Notably, its most renowned use was as an emetic, commonly referred to as “puke weed.” The herb was often prepared into a tea by the Shoshones and others to induce vomiting for therapeutic purposes.

Because smoking too much Lobelia can be toxic, we mix just a little of it in with our blends (as mentioned, aside from Moon) so you get exactly enough to satisfy your nicotine cravings. Since Lobelia mimics the body’s response to nicotine without being addictive, it can effectively treat nicotine withdrawal and help you quit smoking cigarettes with herbs, nonviolently.

Are You a Vaper? How to Quit Vaping Tobacco with Herbs

So you’re a vaper. It’s better than smoking, I suppose. Maybe. The scientific jury’s still out on that one since we don’t truly understand what vaping tobacco does to the lungs and throat. But what we do know is you’re still a vaping Tobacco junky. Your bloodstream nevertheless is an addicted monkey fiending for a fix, which can be bloody annoying. Having to vape every half hour completely ruins movie theaters, bar mitzvahs, Chuck E. Cheese like a snot-nosed 3-year old in a Skinny Puppy cover band. It sucks being an addict.

But you can still quit vaping tobacco with herbs. Buy a vape that takes pure Tobacco, and gradually mix in an herbal blend like Bear Blend to replace the tobacco. Start with an 80/20 mix, then go 60/40, gradually weeding out the Tobacco until you’re vaping nothing but herbs.

And yes, Bear Blend makes liquid herbs so you can still vape without the addiction. But you’ll be vaping because you want to, not because your addiction grabs you by the throat and makes you it’s little ball-gag-leather bitch in Quentin Tarantino’s sick imagination.

You’re Not Just Addicted to Nicotine

We get it. Quitting smoking is tough. It’s one of the hardest things you can do. But believe it or not, you’re addicted to more than just the nicotine. The nicotine addiction leaves your body after a few excruciating days. Many smokers make it that far. But most will also find themselves smoking again months later, maybe even a year or several years after the initial quit, long after their body has ceased the physical cravings of nicotine.

That’s because the nic fit is the physical addiction. But the mental addiction, the one that stalks you like a patient serial killer through the strip malls of life, is the act of smoking itself. And it will sneak up on you in a dark alley when you’re least expecting it.

You’re at a party, out with friends, hanging with the gang for the first time in years. Somebody lights up and you suddenly crave a drag like Jack Nicholson craves family time at the Holiday Inn.

Smoking herbs gives you something else to smoke besides tobacco and nicotine. Herbs provide a smoking alternative that’s not addictive. You can be in control without having a cigarette’s knife at your throat.

Quit smoking with herbs. Kick your ashtray’s ass like a Chuck Norris roundhouse joke kicking the snot out of Chuck E. Cheese in an 80’s period ninja flick. You’ve got this Daniel, son. Be smoke-free in ‘83, baby.

Mathew Gallagher

Mathew Gallagher

Wordsmith Specialist

A freelance writer for hire, Matt Gallagher is the face and voice behind Web Copy Magician. He enjoys Bear Blend as a tea to spiritually reconnect with nature and the therapeutic wonders of chlorophyll.

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