Pure Beauty and Bear Blend Smokable Herbs: Nature Speaks. Will You Listen?
Pure Beauty and Bear Blend Smokable Herbs: Nature Speaks. Will You Listen?
Flick the Bic. Ignite the light. Hit the herb.
Rasta Safari.
The plants are talking. “Come here, motherfucker,” they say in perfect French with a crisp accent like Pepé Le Pew before #MeToo. “Lick, laugh, lavish.”
Inhale herb smoking at its finest. That fresh green chlorophyll straight to the lungs, like a forest in your mouth and everyone’s invited. Light up and welcome to the party.
If we truly listen, plants are nonhuman teachers with stories to tell, lessons to teach, clairvoyance to preach. Open your Third Eye of sensational sensations. Gardens are the journey. You are the destination.
Bear Blend is thrilled to announce our partnership with Pure Beauty, the preeminent herb stash of California.
They’ve just launched the Garden Blend, CBD dominant pre-rolls featuring Bear Blend organic herbs. Each joint is packed with Mullein, Red Raspberry, Mugwort, Damiana, Rose, Calendula, Lavender, Catnip, Lobelia, Vanilla, and a CBD-dominant cannabis strain (AC/DC) with a little hint of Pineapple Kush CBD.
And yes, the Garden Blend is federally legal, so you can even order your Grandma a stash shipped to 420 Rastagrandma Ave., Bumfuck, Kansas 66012.
Proceeds from the blend benefit NonHuman Teachers, a nonprofit that takes a new approach to ecological storytelling, blending science, art, and the imagination to help deepen the relationship between humans and the natural world.
We’ve got a lot to learn from plants, our nonhuman teachers brimming with solar science and the wonders of creation. Smoking herbs is a great way to reconnect with that knowledge, banish the sins of Capitalism, escape into the frontier of the forest and never look back.
Stop. Drop. Roll a Plant.
What do plants, our nonhuman teachers, have to tell us? Plenty, if you just inhale and listen.
First: Stop, drop, and roll. Life’s a bloody Native American gauntlet walloping your ass cheeks black, purple, blue and all the colors in-between. Sometimes you just need to drop it all, wrap your head into a ball, and kiss where it hurts.
Plants do this instinctively, bending away from conflict to heal pain and recharge. They’re actually conscious and can move with minds of their own, much like us humans, but slower than our eyes can perceive.
It’s kinda like the sock, spoon, and Japanese dildo in the Tom Robbins novel Skinny Legs and All. Except plant movement is real. Not just the hallucinations of the greatest psychedelic-cosmic wordsmith of the 20th Century,
So in the midst of the stress of the day, stop, drop, and roll. Take time to recharge. Roll a spliff and enjoy an herbal meditation in the pockets of hidden moments of every day. If you check out Pure Beauty’s Instagram page, even insects are in on the act. Hit the arrow to the second image to see this pic of a tarantula hitting a spliff on her 420 lunch break.
Sun Gods and the Photosynthesis of Happiness
The second lesson plants want to teach you: Sunlight is God.
As the Facebook meme puts it, the Sun is the only god we know to be real.
Plants naturally thrive off sunshine, of course, but the mechanics are downright trippy if you think about it. If you hadn’t heard about photosynthesis in science class first, you’d think that guy in the back of the shop class made it up, like the great Q conspiracy where lizard brains play spin the bottle with Punky Brewster in the basement of a D.C. pizza shop.
Seriously. Plants sapped in chlorophyll harness sunlight, carbon dioxide, and water in a glorious concoction to produce sugared energy and oxygen. Something Elon Musk would actually pay $100 million in cash for if he only knew about trees. The Jolly Green Giant should cash that check and build an eco-doomsday-crystal palace in the depths of Jamaica.
As humans, we produce our own photosynthesis, kinda, not literally, but sorta if you’d just hit this spliff and pass it to the left.
Sunlight is crucial to our vitamin D production and is a source of happiness. Like plants, we thrive off it. It actually helps our brains produce more serotonin and live happier. So go out and get you some. Drink and soak up the sun – it just might put a smile on your face.
The Forest Misses You and Wants You to Be Happy
The third lesson plants want you to know: The forest misses your ass and wants you to be happy. And you miss the trees. That’s why you’re so lonely, isolated, and confused. You’ve forgotten your primate Tarzan the Ape Man natural heritage. You’ve forgotten your roots.
The forest is baked into our DNA. It’s where our ancestors called home, where we speared mastodon, bathed in rivers, and made love by the firelight, the OG Netflix & Chill. Hereditarily speaking, our genes have spent more time in the worlds of plants and trees than anywhere else. We weren’t meant to work in tall buildings. We’re designed to climb trees and howl like banshees.
Being in nature tunes in our happiness. Studies show being in nature can lower our heart rates and even increase our mortality. It actually decreases violence and is good for peace. The trees call us back to the garden.
So head into the forest, roll up a tree, light up and inhale. Nature is good for you, and we are part of nature. The plants are ancient teachers, our nonhuman teachers, and simply being in their presence opens doors to knowing. Let the forest whisper its secrets: where the breath of life begins, how chlorophyll might just save the planet, and why a little sunlight and love can spark a full-blown revolution.
Fuck it. Light it up and run for the hills. We’ll see you there.
Mathew Gallagher
Wordsmith Specialist
A freelance writer for hire, Matt Gallagher is the face and voice behind Web Copy Magician. He enjoys Bear Blend as a tea to spiritually reconnect with nature and the therapeutic wonders of chlorophyll.
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