We live in a crazy world where hundreds of plants are outlawed in the U.S. Some are invasive. Others are poisonous. And some get you high as Hank Williams singing along to his grandson’s music in the back of a 1952 Cadillac convertible. Let’s explore the plants that are outlawed because of what they do to our brains. How the hell do you outlaw a plant?

Nature is an outlaw biker riding high like a pure gold train of a David Allen Coe song that ran over your mother after she just got outta prison.

Seriously, how the hell do you outlaw a plant?

Our new blog explores why certain plants are outlawed and how silly it is to ban certain plants just because of their effects on our minds.

Nature is an outlaw biker riding high like a pure gold train of a David Allen Coe song that ran over your mother after she just got outta prison.

Seriously, how the hell do you outlaw a plant?

But we live in a crazy world where hundreds of plants are outlawed in the U.S. Some are invasive. Others are poisonous. And some get you high as Hank Williams singing along to his grandson’s music in the back of a 1952 Cadillac convertible.

We get that Cannabis is still illegal in plenty of states. It’s the same tired tune, like a Woody Guthrie song played on repeat by a Fascist Killing Machine until we’re blue in the face. This article doesn’t argue for weed legalization. That’s a given, like a four-leaf clover for a tramp stamp. It’s been done. 

Now some plants are illegal because they’re invasive or bad for the Earth. Garlic mustard is banned in Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Virginia, Washington, and West Virginia because it harms the environment. Water Spinach is banned in Arizona and Virginia because of its harm to waterways and native plants. Wild Sugarcane is banned throughout the US because it chokes out native plants and grasses that grow in the wetlands.

Fair enough, you can kinda see the logic there. Whatever. We’re not talking about those plants. Go ahead – ban the Fig Buttercup. It’s basically the Jehovah’s Witness of the plant world. Same goes for Johnsongrass, which literally poisons cows and sheep with cyanide. Some plants are pests and should be regulated, like when the Great State of California snatches lemons out of your RV fridge because they could wipe out the citrus industry with a case of the lemon clap. When it comes to protecting plants, sometimes you just gotta play defense.

This article’s not about the poisonous and invasive plants, though it is worth noting Shitake mushrooms were once banned in the US because officials feared they’d be invasive. Now they’re in every farmers’ market in the country like suburbanites wearing PJ pants at the grocery store. 

What we’re talking about are the plants that are illegal because of what they do to our brains. Why does the government ban plants that free our minds? Lock up the imagination before Nature’s Pepé Le Pew knocks it up with kittens.

Peyote is illegal to grow in the U.S. because it contains mescaline, a potent hallucinogen classified as a Schedule I controlled substance under the Controlled Substances Act. The government prohibits its cultivation to prevent recreational use and potential abuse, as mescaline induces altered states of consciousness and psychedelic effects. However, exceptions exist for members of the Native American Church, who are legally permitted to use Peyote in religious ceremonies due to its deep cultural and spiritual significance.

Nudity is good for you. It shines yourself, opens your Chakras, reconnects you to the Sun and the energy of the Solar System. Party naked like a nude Protostar.