Are Cigarettes Back? Let’s Make Smoking Cool Again with Herbs
Are Cigarettes Back? Let’s Make Smoking Cool Again with Herbs
Have you noticed? Instagram’s suddenly looks like the inside of a super hip ‘90s bar – nicotine clouds thick as Bay Bridge fog, ashtrays runneth over, celebrity selfies plugging cigarettes like Kurt Cobain telling kids not to smoke.
They thought they banned Joe Camel from Saturday morning cartoons and the funny papers. Whatever. Gen Z doesn’t give a shit.
Everywhere you look, young people are lighting up a cancer stick selfie, #smokinghot #sparkemifyougotem #smokingfetishnation making the Marlboro Man #sexyagain.
Is smoking back?
“Smoking is back,” Isabel Rower, a 24-year-old sculptor smoker, told the New York Times. “Weirdly, in the last year or two, all my friends who didn’t smoke, now smoke. I don’t know why. No one is really addicted to it. It’s more of a pleasure activity.”
John Lennon was right. Everybody’s got something to hide, except for me and my monkey.
Is Smoking Cool Again?
Smoking is a Burt Reynolds cannonball with a chimpanzee sidekick, racing the nation like the ‘80s are back in style.
In 2020, cigarette sales actually increased. (Probably because it’s impossible to watch Tiger King and not crave a cigarette.)
You can kinda understand, with the whole world locked in their apartments, gouging their eyeballs out on Netflix and tequila and all. Sure, millions of people were dying from an infectious lung disease, but why not light a cylinder of radioactive arsenic and shrink your skeleton like Clint Eastwood on a drive-deluxe two-button folding walker? When suddenly you can’t go outside, you feel like you’ve got nothing to lose.
You can blame COVID stress on much of the nation’s cigarette binge, but it’s a trend that continues. Though tobacco sales dipped somewhat in 2022, they’re still well above pre-pandemic levels, especially among the young.
Look in the mirror. Smoking’s cool again. My monkey can quit anytime she wants. Ask her again, and she’ll eat your face off. #smokinghotmonkeyfight
Smoking Looks Cool – Why Gen Z Doesn’t Inhale
But Gen Z mostly just wants to look cool. They’re not your grandpa smoking 3 packs a day trying not to commit mass murder. Smoking’s just fashion.
Like Bill Clinton before Penisgate, Gen Z doesn’t inhale. They mostly smoke at parties for the glam and cred, snap that Insta-selfie with the 1970s filter, and then stomp on the burning ember while it’s still half-smoked. Nursing a cocktail in a can, smoking’s heavy-metal-punk with a ring in its nose, tattoos for sleeves, bees for knees.
“It’s the thing to do when you’ve had a lot to drink, I don’t smoke that much except for when I’m drunk, and sometimes it’s fun to pose with one in between your fingers for the memories,” an anonymous sophomore told the Summit Pinnacle, a high school press out of Oregon.
If we’re really honest, looking cool is really the Marlboro Man’s whole career – right up until he retired, sued his boss, and died of lung cancer.
But Smoking Herbs is Cooler
At Bear Blend, we’ll be the first to admit: Smoking’s pretty fucking cool.
First, there’s the sharing aspect: Lighting up outside the bar, the best conversations happen on the sidewalk outside the bar.
Second, smoking feels freeing. There’s something about being outside, breathing the air with a cigarette in your hand and a total sense of freedom. You share a light, some talk, a few laughs. Smokers feel like you’re friends, like we’re getting away with something and overthrowing the Man.
Third, you feel cool. Smoking turns the Johnny Depp of anything up past 11. Don’t know what it is, but inhaling burning shit feels pretty hip.
But we’ll also tell you the truth: Smoking will kill you. Smoking tobacco is the leading cause of disease and death in the United States. And in a country that’s so addicted to the Second Amendment, that’s saying something.
And yeah, smoking’s addictive. Cigarettes are harder to quit than smack. We get it. Our monkeys get it. There’s no judgment – only science. Smoking cigarettes is an addictive monkey killing machine while the tobacco companies get rich like Pablo Escobar.
That’s why we prefer to smoke herbs. While the jury’s still out on whether or not smoking herbs is bad for you, we know it’s a lot better than smoking tobacco. When you smoke herbs, you don’t stink as bad – you smell like a garden. And you don’t feel bad – smoke an herbal joint of Bear Blend and bound up a flight of stairs no problem. Try doing that after a Camel. If we’re honest, smoking tobacco makes you feel like shit.
And smoking herbs can also help you quit smoking tobacco. Roll Bear Blend into tobacco like a spliff. Every time you do it, mix in a little more blend and a little less tobacco. Soon, you’ll be smoking pure herbs and never even miss the tobacco. Smoking herbs is a great way to quit smoking tobacco and not feel like you have to kill someone.
Conscious Party – Light Up Your Instagram with Herbs
Smoking is cool – just be conscious about what you smoke.
If you want to smoke to feel cool, look hip, smoke herbs. Our Bear Blend pre-rolled make great tobacco alternatives for smoking when you’re at the bar. You can have that drunken smoke without feeding the monkey.
Light up your Instagram with an herbal smoke. You can still look like Brad Pitt on a bender without the cancer risk. Life’s great.
Smoking herbs has numerous benefits. Bear Blend is loaded with herbs that are great for relaxation, promote sleep and deep dreaming, help inspire and connect with the Earth. It’s a great way to unwind and connect to nature. You can mix Bear Blend with tobacco to quit tobacco, or mix it with herb to extend your stash or mellow your buzz.
If smoking’s back, let’s supplement with herbs. Your lungs will thank you. Gaia will thank you. It’s a great way to get back to nature, reconnect with the Earth, and celebrate the best parts of being human.
Here’s to the Earth, life, and smoking herbs – celebrate wisely.
A freelance writer for hire, Matt Gallagher is the face and voice behind Web Copy Magician. He enjoys Bear Blend as a tea to spiritually reconnect with nature and the therapeutic wonders of chlorophyll.
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