Man Wanna Smoke: End Isolation, Meet New Humans, Live #IRL Free
Man Wanna Smoke: End Isolation, Meet New Humans, Live #IRL Free
Hey you!
You with the phone!
Smile.
No, they’re not laughing at you. They’re smiling for you. We swear.
But nobody would ever know it because they’re mosquito-sucking away at their phones. Pucker up, Buttercup.
Problem is these days, nobody can see 3 inches beyond their screens. Their faces are being sucked by Facebook, Instagram, tender little Tinder.
Let’s face it — social media can be horribly anti-social. And it’s killing us, Like by Like, ping by ping, going viral like herpes simplex on the win chin of Spinal Tap.
And be honest, this last year of COVID has been downright suffocating. We’ve lost the basic ability to hang and swing off conversation like chandeliers in a pirate booty fight. Even busting out a Starbucks order becomes frustratingly intimidating and awkward, like the universe needs to relearn how to speak language.
We get it. We’re all feeling it — the entire Cosmos has been reborn smack into perpetual 7th grade like a Judy Blume dystopia.
But the summer sun is dazzling. The world is coming back — masks are coming off, literally and figuratively. Concerts are starting to rage again. It’s time to End Isolation: Start talking to other human beings in the flesh, for real — relearn what it is to be human.
#irl: In Real Life — Turn On, Tune In, Be Fucking Real
Believe it or not, but people actually had sex before Tinder. That’s how Martha and George made all those little Washingtons: They turned the lamps down low.
Devices have become so addictively habitual, left-right left-right wandering down the street, it’s easy to forget how sucked into digital reality we’ve all become — and what we’re missing in the process.
Real reality — in real life (#irl), in your face and breathing — is actually where all the cool shit happens. Everything else is just an ends to a meme.
Because guess what? Real life is where the magic sizzles — that rhyming serendipity where surreal connections breathe, when things start to click like a Cosmic Fitbit, moments to make Yoda yodel inverted sentences off a John Denver mountain top.
Without that, you’re nothing but a static satus — living your life post by post, screen by screen, never realizing your dreams.
Because when your primary social is set to Instagram, faced on Facebook with your Trump drunk uncle, dreams die in isolation. And you miss out on the real opportunity to have living, breathing connections — actual conversations with like-minded souls rediscovering what it is to be human.
It’s nobody’s fault. Being human can get awkward — especially these days. We all need an icebreaker.
Fortuitously, herbs can be the perfect tool: Introducing the Cosmic icebreaker spliff.
Share the Herbs — the Perfect Icebreaker
We know you want to talk to people, meet new faces, make brand new friends. But where do you begin? It’s not like we’re 4 anymore. The preschool days of “Do you want to play with me?” have long gone on.
Or have they? How about the adult version: “Hey man, wanna smoke?”
Smoking is communal insolation, an excuse for conversation, sharing an ember like cavemen petroglyphing the walls with stick figure shamans hunting buffalo with the aliens.
You’re at a concert, or a bar, and you break into a circle to share a bowl or a spliff — you sneak to the alley or back parking lot, or maybe just the open sidewalk if you’re lucky to live in California or Colorado where reefer’s New Age chewing gum. But the point is smoking herb brings people together. Even tobacco’s a social bond, if you can get your neighbor off their phone long enough to spark up a light.
That’s why Bear Blend is starting the End Isolation campaign. Offer up a rollie — ideally to someone you’ve never met, somebody you don’t know from Gershwin, some random heart beating soul on the street with shoes on their feet. Bonus points if you can get them off their phone long enough to talk to you.
Take a selfie with your new friend and the herbs. Put it on Instagram. (We know, irony’s an S&M leather-clad She-Devil with a long black whip — but the point here is to document the actual socialization of human beings.) Hashtag it #endisolation. Tag Bear Blend.
We’ll send you a free tin of Rolliez.
It’s that simple.
Share the herbs. End isolation. Rediscover magic. Make more new friends than a Romper Room drag queen in knee-high fluorescent Converse.
The world’s a tipsy Gypsy — pass her one to the left and hang.
Mathew Gallagher
Wordsmith Specialist
A freelance writer for hire, Matt Gallagher is the face and voice behind Web Copy Magician. He enjoys Bear Blend as a tea to spiritually reconnect with nature and the therapeutic wonders of chlorophyll.
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Free samples plz n ty